if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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