real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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