Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
