omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
