my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
