i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
