whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
we made out on top of his cat.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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