Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize