I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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