The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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