I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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