the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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