So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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