nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
