he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
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I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
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i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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