he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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