dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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