I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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