So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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