dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Bring me that man meat
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
