No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
