her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
