what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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