'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
