If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
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