I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Im part way to drunk.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
