Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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