What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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