Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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