felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
