She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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