It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
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