Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Randomize
