I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
