im about as happy as oj after his trial
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
