Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis