shes about as inviting as chlamydia
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
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I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.