no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.