the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad