The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy