found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration