I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
