is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize