Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
