every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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