I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
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