she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
