I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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