covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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