I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
