hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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