Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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