I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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