You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize