Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
