I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize