It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
