ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize