she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
