They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
