Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
