420 ftw
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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